Tortured Metaphors (Well, Similes) for How I Feel

1. Like a car that has raced through a torrential rain to get its owner to the airport on time, only to be left in the parking lot with its lights still on, slowly draining the battery.


2. Like the charater in Saving Private Ryan whose helmet stops a bullet during the landing at Normandy and who then, after taking the helmet off and staring at it in disbelief, gets hit in the head by a second bullet.


3. Like the athlete who waits four more years, finally makes the Olympic team, and then gets sidelined with an injury.


4. Like Nancy on thirtysomething, who can't fathom how Gary could possibly have been killed in a traffic pileup while on his way to visit her at the hospital to celebrate her unlikely triumph over ovarian cancer.


5. Like Charlie Brown, after the hundredth time Lucy snatches the football away a split second before he kicks it.

I said they were tortured.