Thursday, August 17, 2006

Maybe Not the Best Sales Pitch

The last time I was bald, five years ago, I walked by a panhandler on a street corner on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.

"Sir, can you spare some change?" he called out.

It took me a second to realize that he was talking to me.

It took him longer to realize that I wasn't a sir.

Let's just say he didn't profit from the experience.

Fast-forward to today. I was on my way home and was standing on a subway platform, waiting for a train. I walked over to the newsstand to buy a pack of gum. (In lieu of Yankee Doodles, I now have inexplicable cravings for Juicy Fruit. I'm planning to go cold turkey. Soon.)

As I walked up to the candy rack, I heard a voice behind me say something like, "Hey, man, can you spare 75 cents?"

I didn't pay any attention because a) the voice was behind me, and b) I am not a man.

It turned out, however, that the guy was, in fact, talking to me.

I know I'm bald and all, but really. Is it that hard to discern my gender?

Did I mention that I was wearing a dress?

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Unbelievable! Maybe you should start wearing pink again! Only kidding. But no way could you look masculine even in a baseball cap. amlm

August 18, 2006 9:18 PM  
Anonymous torre said...

I see no way that you could possibly be mistaken for a man. Heck, some of these guys are probably on drugs and hallucinating. No telling what they were "seeing" when they spoke to you.

And you were wearing a dress, too. ah, well...only in NYC....or CA. ;)

August 22, 2006 9:00 AM  

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