Because You Never Know Who Else Will Be Involved

I am back. After a hiatus of nearly two months.

Life has been crazy, that's part of it. We're still plenty overwhelmed with the day-to-day here. Managing life on this coast, managing our interests on the other one, figuring out which directions we're going in the future, trying to withstand the current financial tempests—it's a lot of stuff. A lot. But then again, everyone is dealing with most, if not all, of these same issues, so who am I to grouse?

The other reason for the long layoff is that it's just been D. E. A. D. dead here. Pilot season ended early, very few pilots this year, huge competition for them because production has been so decimated by the wake of the writers strike, the threat of the SAG strike, etc. Not to mention the influx of foreign actors. Since my 11th Hour audition on February 3, I have had five, count them, five auditions. I won't bore you with what they were for. I will say that I was not really right for four of them (Parade at the Taper? Yeah, I don't think I'm-a-gonna book that). Everyone is truly throwing the spaghetti on the wall to try to hustle up some work, and my agent is no exception.

In this climate, a casting director asked me if I wanted to take part in a reading at the Writer's Guild. It was a pilot presentation, less to pitch the pilot and more to celebrate its rather succesful author: Larry Gelbart.

Well, heck. Who wouldn't want to meet and work with one of the most brilliant writers of our time? Even though I only had six or seven lines. Even after one of my parts was cut. Even though I was playing a German mogul filmmaker in his late 50s. It was still going to be a chance to see something the world hadn't seen: a new pilot by Larry Gelbart.

Not new, as it turned out, because he actually wrote it on spec some time ago, and had no faith it would ever get produced. Perhaps he was pessimistic about its commercial viability because the pilot is about German filmmaking and the early days of the Third Reich: a time when Berlin was in direct competition with Hollywood as the cinema capital of the world, and when Goebbels was producing propaganda via UFA Film Studios (whose exiles eventually included Fritz Lang, Billy Wilder, and Peter Lorre) , while using his position there to have dalliances with young actresses.

It's easy to see why he didn't think anyone would touch it. But on the other hand, who can imagine the original pitch meeting for Hogan's Heroes? ("Well, it's set in this POW camp, ya see...And there's all these wacky foreign prisoners right?...and....") He also only envisioned it as a four- or five-part series, as after a period of time, all of his major characters would have either left Germany, or been imprisoned or killed. Yeesh. So, yeah, he's not had faith in the past that it would ever be picked up.

But I have to say, as befits a man of his genius, the pilot is pure gold. It's laugh-out-loud funny, it's topical, it's morally intricate, it's compelling, it makes you think without preaching or hitting you over the head. Would that there was more writing like this around! And Larry himself is one of the most gifted and charming men I've ever met. Just in his small bits of direction and notes he was giving us in rehearsal, the man was out-and-out funny......funny without even trying. Humorous lines fall out of his mouth like oranges off an over-ripe tree. It was truly astonishing. And it's not like Mel Brooks where he constantly seems like he's a comedian and he's going for a laugh. He's just intimately familiar with words, and has a knack for commenting on the present situation with le mot juste in a way that touches the heart and the funnybone at the same time. It's rare that I've ever met someone who has such a direct connection to the human condition.

Words are failing me here, so I'll stop with the hyperbole. Suffice to say it was a wonderful two days: a first read-through Saturday, a second rehearsal this afternoon, and a performance tonight in front of a sold-out crowd at the WGA building.

And the bonus was this: as a warm-up, Mr. Gelbart had decided to open the evening with a separate 10-minute play he'd written (a hilarious piece based on the Dick Cheney face-shooting incident). It's a two-hander, and in this case, the two hands were already cast with well-known actors; but he actually needed a third hand, someone play the "stage manager": to read the intro stage directions, and then step in at the end of the piece to "calm down" one of the characters. And he decided to use me in the role. And that is how tonight I found myself inexplicably playing a scene with Bradley Whitford, whose work I've admired since I saw him in Three Days of Rain 12 years ago. And then I got to share the stage with him again in the main reading, along with Carl Reiner, Cary Elwes, David Paymer, and a host of other talented folks.

So you see, you really never do know who'll show up at these things. :)

The whole experience pretty much rocked. It was like doing a play again! And while there are still no auditions on the horizon, at least my creative cup has been filled for a bit.

70 Pilots, Apparently No Good American Actors

From a friend's Facebook feed, I saw this Reuters article:

Pilot castings dominated by non-U.S. actors

Also factoring in are the rigors of pilot season, where 70-plus pilots were chasing actors at the same time, often depleting the existing talent pool. The dearth is strongest for leads -- fresh faces in their late 20s to early 30s who can carry a show.

The chances of discovering untapped but experienced talent in that age range are far greater abroad then they are in the U.S.

I'd heard about this phenomenon from enough people that I knew it wasn't a mirage, but to read about it in Reuters is something else altogether.

This is a case of casting directors not doing their jobs. While I am not a "fresh face in my late 20s to early 30s who can carry a show", you can bet I know lots of people out here who are: people with numerous guest star credits, serious training, winning personalities. People who fought tooth and nail to be seen for ANYTHING this pilot season.

The system needs an overhaul, that's for sure.

Oy Vey Iz Mir

It's been super-quiet on the acting front here for the past month. In fact, since my Eleventh Hour audition, which was February 3, I have had a grand total of TWO auditions.

That's right, two auditions in 6+ weeks. Woo-hoo! Both of them about three weeks ago.

The first was a pilot, my first and only pilot audition this year. Anecdotal evidence tells me that they saw pretty much everyone in town for this role. I know of three other actors (widely different types) who all went in for this same part, and that's a lot. It was an untitled sitcom in which I was to play the "divorced best friend in his mid-30s to mid-40s." Well, that's specific.

The CD kept telling me, "there's a lot of George Castanza in this role. A lot of Jewish neuroticism. You know how George Castanza has that angst?"

I resisted the urge to say, "Then why did you bring me in?" or maybe, "Perhaps you should hire Jason Alexander for this part."

(I say this not with bitterness, btw, just amusement.)

The other audition was for CSI:NY. It's funny, when I came out here, I thought I'd end up getting a lot of procedural auditions because of my Law and Order past; but it really hasn't been the case.

This part was something we almost skipped, and probably should have. It was T.I.N.Y. Two lines, playing the Jewish orthodox son of a watchmaker. Not the role I want I want for my one appearance on CSI:NY.

So we passed, and then they came back and said, "Does it make a difference that the watchmaker will be Ed Asner?"

We reconsidered. It was weird that they were kind of pursuing me. This didn't seem like a role that would be difficult to cast. But then we thought, maybe they're looking for someone with some training, because the script has a big moment at the end where the son sees his father being led off to jail for heinous crimes and basically disowns him in a long glance:

David looks up at his father: a myriad of emotions: shock, contempt, sadness..then simply gets up. Numb. Turns his back on his father and walks away.

Okay, we thought, this is a scene with Ed Asner and Gary Sinise. Maybe despite the low screen time, they are going to linger on this scene and are looking for a really solid actor to pull it off. Maybe they want someone who will have the presence to hold his own with these two heavyweights.

And I've clearly demonstrated I can play orthodox jews on TV. ;) So why not take a flyer?

So I went in for it, and SURPRISE! It was none of that.

They didn't even look at the end scene in the audition; instead they taped the only other scene, where the son is introduced and has two lines: "Everything all right?" and "Okay, Pop." They were running the session VERY quickly, about 2 minutes/person. Churning 'em through. There were 8 guys waiting when I came in, and probably another 10 waiting when I left. Not exactly a scenario where they were looking for the right actor for a "moment".

When you go in to read two little lines like that you realize they're truly casting about 95% based on the look. And as you all know, I can squeak by as Jewish on TV based on some acting and dialect work that I bring to the table, but when competing against, you know, actual Jewish actors, in a role that will be primarily about appearance, I don't even chart.

The role was for an orthodox kid who works with his dad in a watch repair shop. Not a hassidic kid from Crown Heights. So I literally stifled a chuckle walking into the waiting room. It was filled with guys getting their heavy orthodox vibe on for the day. Like a callback for the bottle dance in Fiddler on the Roof. There were black vests. There were yarmulkes. One guy was actually sporting tzitzis. I was half expecting the next to have clip-on payos or a shtreimel.

And from the lack of professional vibe out there (loud discussions of previous work and current temp jobs, nervous laughter aplenty) it was clear that most of these guys have not been in the big leagues yet. Or not for a long time. Many of them were comedians I think, based on the LOUD and COMEDIC energy in the room. Many of them were also guys who make a living out here doing extra work and co-stars, based on the conversations I heard.

So I kept my head down, went in and did my bit, and chuckled on my way out the door, knowing that this was three hours of my life that were gone forever.

Insanity!

When it rains, it pours. I can't believe this is happening.

It turns out the reason the sure-thing callback for 11th Hour didn't materialize is that they were casting straight from tape.

And this afternoon I found out I was their choice, pending network approval.

And tonight I found out WE GOT THE OFFER! TWO BOOKINGS IN TWO DAYS!

And?.......

And there's a conflict with my shoot on [Redacted]. The 11th Hour gig, originally set to shoot only one day (on the 18th), now has an additional day of work (this coming Friday) which overlaps with a "hold" day for my current shoot.

Unbelievable.

So now my agent and manager have huddled and are going to try to finesse the situation with both production crews in the hopes that i won't have to turn down the second job.

I'm overjoyed, freaking out, stressing, and on pins and needles all at the same time. Won't know until sometime tomorrow if I can keep the second job, but when I know, I'll post it here.

Crazy, right?

[redacted]

If you look back, you'll notice that my last two posts have been slightly altered.

That's because when I got the script for this shoot, there was a copyright/disclosure warning on page two that sent chills down my spine. It was signed by the producers and it threatened IMMEDIATE DISMISSAL for leaking any details about the story.

I mean, serious business.

I shouldn't be surprised, I guess. And I'm probably over-reacting (or over-redacting—get it?).

But even though this blog has a readership in the single digits, it's still visible to anyone who stumbles across it, and there's no way I'm going to let that jeopardize this job.

Two other items of note:

1) My lines in the new script have been reduced to one word. Woo-hoo!

2) My sure-fire callback for 11th Hour yesterday never materialized. I'm really a bit surprised, but it just goes to show you that you can't always know what goes on behind closed doors. And that I shouldn't get too cocky, either.

Did You Ever Know That You're on "[redacted]"?

BOOKED IT!

My producer's session yesterday rocked. I am officially shooting a large co-star on [redacted] later this week! I found out last night that I was "their choice", as they say, and the deal was worked out today.

There is not a lot of room for negotiation on the compensation for what is, at the end of the day, a small but challenging role. But the casting office ([redacted]) is notoriously difficult to meet with and/or make an impression on, so this is a great victory—they are one of the better offices in LA and they cast a lot of stuff.

In deference to the show's producers, I'm not saying anything more about the role because they really are super-secretive.

Here's the bonus:with all the residual confidence from last night's session, I went in early this morning (9:15am!) for a nice role on a new CBS show, 11th hour, with Rufus Sewell. It felt like I nailed it—we'll see if anything transpires.

Suffice to say, things are picking up a little speed out here, and that's a huge relief. We can only hope they continue to do so, and aren't derailed by Alan Rosenberg's ridiculous lawsuit against SAG which was filed yesterday. Seriously, could someone give him his meds already? The guy is clearly delusional.

Third Audition Of The Year

Audition #1 was a one-day guest on The Unit, where the LIE TO ME folks called me in. Liked me, but not for this part.

Audition #2 was the "Kevin James type" fiasco. Can I please have a mint to get that taste out of my mouth?

The mint came yesterday in the form of....

Audition #3: A protective father on [redacted]. (Shhh! They're very secretive over there). It's my first time at this casting office, and I hit it off with them so far. I have a callback for producers on Monday. Would love to do this; if I book the part, my character gets to punch someone and then get shot. How cool would that be?

Catching Up

In Brief:

• The same casting director who cast me as the co-star videographer on Lie To Me called me in for a sweet guest-starring role on The Unit. I was to play a dickish father who selfishly puts others in danger during a chlorine gas leak situation. An amazing part with a great arc. Great audition, made it to producers, did not book the role. But this office clearly likes me, so that's good
• Was also called in for a comic role ("Kevin James type"—aka the King of Queens) on a new comedy, Better Off Ted. Felt I had to make a strong choice, and did. Showed up to the audition to see a room full of guys who actually look like Kevin James (i.e., blue collar, balding, 300 lb. types). Realized halfway through the audition that my strong choice was not remotely funny to the casting directors. They were very sweet, but I tanked. Oh well. It's gonna happen. I didn't lose my cool, and I didn't apologize. Sitcoms are just not going to be my strong point
• Took Jody to Sundance for a belated surprise birthday weekend. Saw nine films in three days. Two of them sucked, one was so-so, three were very good, and three were breathtaking. Not a bad batting average. Park City was beautiful and amazing—I really want to ski there now. Bonus points: The entire trip is a write-off for me! Keep your eyes open in the future for Amreeka, Afghan Star, and Mary and Max.
• Lastly, saw the premiere tonight of Loving Leah, the Hallmark TV movie I shot in September with Lauren Ambrose. On the down side, most of my scene (originally about 3 minutes) was cut. Or "slashed" is perhaps the better word. Down to about 10 seconds! On the good side, I am still in the movie, and when I appeared onscreen, the entire theater cracked up. The sight gag is that good. Bonus points: the director apologized, said the decision to cut came from Hallmark (they were afraid it might offend). He's going to try to get me the whole scene for my reel. Yay! Loving Leah airs Sunday night on CBS at 9pm eastern. Reprising my Law and Order success of a few years ago (Bible Story), I once again play an orthodox jew. But this time I'm actually a rabbi:

LIE TO ME, Part I

So, I booked my first role since the move. Yay!

It's a co-star on a mid-season replacement on FOX called Lie To Me starring Tim Roth. The show is about a group of behavioral doctors, etc., who solve cases by reading "microexpressions" in people's faces which indicate that they're lying. I watched a promo for it, and I actually think it's going to be a really good show.

I'm a little bummed to be back in co-star land, but am happy for the work. And the main thing is that I got in to see a casting director who I met two years ago, and she really liked what I did, took some time to get reacquainted with me, and called me in the next day for a much larger guest star on a different series. Actually, a Mossad agent, which would have been incredibly fun. But she decided I was too young, told me she'd definitely use me in the future, and in the meantime, did I want to play the original role I came in for? Which was Videographer #1 at a Korean wedding. And having hardly even auditioned all fall (it's been deadly quiet), I was happy for the job.

The shoot was most of last week. This post is about the first couple of days, which were wonderful and bizarre. The main action at the beginning of the episode takes place at the wedding of the son of a Korean ambassador—a huge, opulent affair. Most of the other co-starring roles were Korean-American actors (or other asian types who were playing Korean-American). Plus there were about 250 extras (or "atmosphere" as they are called here), by far the most I've ever worked with on a set before. The extras were about 3/4 asian, 1/4 caucasian. There were guests, waiters, other videographers, photographers, secret service people, the wedding party, a group of traditional korean fan dancers.....and of course about 40-50 crew. Madness!

It was fascinating. First of all, I was hanging out with the other co-star types. The Korean guys all pretty much knew each other and what kind of work each had done lately. Many of them had appeared together before, on numerous occasions. I realized that as a subset of all LA actors, the Korean acting community must be pretty tight. There were animated discussions about the script, which dealt with "microexpressions" of behavior but with a Korean twist (i.e., one character had to betray his inner feelings by not bowing deferentially enough....a tip-off to the resentment he's feeling. The actor playing the role was debating how low he should bow so as to show the microexpression, yet not be too obvious). At one point the episode's author writer came over and said he'd read that Koreans never showed disgust as an expression; the actors all cried in unison, "unless he's drunk!"...indicating to me that this must be a commonly accepted fact in Korean culture. Again, fascinating stuff.

Looking around the wedding reception, I saw many older actors (which is right for a wedding, yes?), including an entire table of extras of what I guessed to be Indian descent. They were wearing saris and seemed completely out of place compared to the rest of the room! I found myself wondering what in the world they were doing there, and decided that the ambassador must have colleagues at the embassy who he invites to his son's wedding or whatever.

All in all, it was a great couple of days shooting the wedding scene. The kind of stuff I love about shoots: meeting a bunch of talented and very diverse people, figuring out how to make the scene consistent but fresh for each take, having fun imagining what the actual wedding would have been like.

Alas, Part II of the shoot was not as great. But more on that in my next post....

The $400 Audition

Yesterday at around 10:45am, I was pulling into a parking lot at LAX, gettting ready to fly east for a much-needed weekend in NYC with Jody.

Then I noticed I had a new voicemail.

It was my agent, with my first pilot audition. Ever. And only my second or third audition this year. It was scheduled for 5:15, and was I still in town?

I had to weigh the pros and cons, but quickly decided to say and go on the audition. For one thing, it's been quiet, and I wanted to get back in the saddle. For another, it was actually a very good part for me. For a third, it was with a casting director who does a lot of stuff in LA.

The audition was only a pre-read—meaning, I'd meet the casting director, and she'd get a sense of me, and then decide if she wanted to bring me back for producers the next day.

I cancelled my Continental Ticket (I have a year to use it), spent the afternoon going over the script and sides, met the woman at 5:15 and had a great audition with her. She laughed at my bits, she chatted with me a little, said good work, etc. There was a great vibe in the room. And you can tell where this is going.

I went home and sat around waiting to hear whether or not they'd be having me back the next day. FInally, at 7:00pm I got the call from my agent with the dreaded words: "It isn't going to go any further." Sigh.

Ah, well. I was glad to have done it nonetheless, and I really do think I made an impression on the CD.

I went to the Jet Blue website and found a redeye leaving in an hour and a half. Grabbed my still-packed bag, shot up to Burbank and made it with 30 minutes to spare.

Cost of the original ticket: $338.80
Cost of the new ticket: $748.80
Difference: $410.

Ouch.

Oh, and not only was it a redeye, but we had stop in Denver in the middle of the night to add fuel, because it was too windy for us to take off at Burbank with a full tank. The cabin crew announced Denver as a "tech stop" for refueling, and told us that if we tried to leave Burbank with a full tank in the Santa Anna winds, we wouldn't have enough "climb performance". Which I guess is a nice way of saying "we won't make it off the ground."

At least the ticket's a write-off, right?

Monologue

Okay, made it with ten minutes to spare....I've done all my homework, I'm ready to go, just throw it all away and relax and have fun now....looks like it's going to be a while before they call any of us in....keep the energy up.....should I look over the lines again?....yeah, but don't obsess about it, don't want to overplan.....okay, yeah, I know these lines, just need to trust that it's all there....that guy is dressed exactly like me....good thing I'm going in before him.....I feel good....I feel great....this is totally mine for the taking......just need to RELAX and HAVE FUN....that's the name of the game, have fun, and remember today is a day I get to "play"......okay, I've been sitting too long, I'm feeling the energy go......my feet are a little numb, gotta stomp that out...(stomp! stomp!)...okay that's better, I feel a little more grounded now......I feel very relaxed....I feel a little too relaxed.....I could use a little of that adrenaline now.....I need to pee...should I pee?...having the extra energy from needing to pee might help me out.....on the other hand, it could be another ten minutes before I go in there.....fuck it, I'm going to hit the john..... (pees).... yeah, glad I did that, because there is NO SIGN of this woman....that dude over there is totally stressing....dude, you've got to breathe, you look terrified. and next time, you might not want to wear blue jeans you look a little too casual to me, but hey, that's just me.....it would be funny if I got this...I mean, who'd imagine my first breakout movie role would be in a Martin Lawrence film?....it would be like when my mom did that Tim Allen movie For Richer, For Poorer a few years ago....what?...oh we're going! that was sudden.....do I know this? yes, I know it! it'll all be there.....just relax and have fun HAVE FUN! HAVE FUN, GODDAMNIT!!

Co-Star Crapshoot

I had my first audition of 2007 today. For a co-star on a hit show. Against my better judgement. It went fine, we'll see, blah blah blah.

I say "against my better judgement" because I am now well tuned-in to the caste system of television roles. And I know that auditioning for a co-star role at this point, even on a hit show, probably doesn't help me and may, in fact, be a detriment to what I'm trying to do here.

Let me explain.

Most people first work on TV by doing extra work and/or co-stars. Extra work is wandering around in the back of a scene to create atmosphere. It involves blending in and being unrecognizable. Extras are treated like second class citizens on a set. They are herded like cattle. There are usually several signs saying "extras holding area" which is a nice way of saying that day's cattle pen. There are more signs warning extras not to eat the food at Kraft Services (Kraft Services="catering table", and please don't ask me where the name comes from...sometime I'll write about the "honey wagon" and being in a "triple-banger" and then the fur will really fly on this blog). Extras are expected to show up on time, bring their own clothes (not too bright or colorful!), cross through the scene when directed, hit their marks, get the hell out of the way, and never call attention to themselves. It's a pretty unfulfilling way to spend a day, although it does count towards benefits.

Then there's co-star roles. Co-star roles actually involve lines. Yup, you get to speak! So it's certainly a step up from extra work. Actually, most of the non-recurring characters you see on TV are co-star roles. A co-star part is anything from one line to several lines to even a few scenes. The vast majority of them, however, are three to five lines of plot advancement. ("Well, her neck is fine, but I noticed some old bruises on her back. It looks like she may have been in an abusive relationship." Gee, thanks Dr. Exposition!) Co-stars are expected to show up on time, wear sometimes ill-fitting clothes from the costume shop, hit their marks, advance the plot, and then get the hell out of the way.

The next level up from co-star is guest star. Guest star roles are the ones you see on TV that are major players in the show: the defense attorney, the murder suspect, etc. The director actually talks to guest star actors (the extras and co-stars only get to deal with the First A.D.), and involves them in the show. To be a guest star is to have arrived, to some degree. It actually requires making some choices and, you know, acting. (The only level above guest star is series regular, and that's a whole different ballgame.)

For my last year or two in NYC, I had graduated out of the ranks of co-star roles into guest star roles (don't ask me, by the way, why co-star is hyphenated, and guest star isn't; it's just another burden the co-star must shoulder). This is important, because if you do too many co-stars , casting directors feel you can't do more than that (likewise, you have to avoid doing too much extra work). And once you start doing guest stars, you really shouldn't turn back.

This prejudice is much sharper and far more overt in LA. Out here, they practically hold it against you if you've done any co-stars. Because the darlings of the TV industry are the actors (usually gorgeous, usually young), who just started working in guest stars from the get-go. Why can't we all be as brilliant as these wunderkinden?

You see where this is going. My agent and manager have strongly pushed me as a "guest star only" kinda guy out here. It's important to present yourself as "belonging" at a certain level. My last three roles have been substantial, juicy guest stars—they have demonstrated my range at that level. That's what we have to shoot for. Otherwise, particularly when dealing with casting directors unfamiliar with his work, a forty-year-old character actor is only going to toil in obscurity on the lower rungs.

Which brings me to today.

Today I was requested kind of last-minute by casting directors I met in the fall to be seen for a co-star role on a hit show. Normally, we'd say "thanks, he'd love to do this show, but in a more substantial role," and wait to see what else came up later in the season (for most shows in LA, once you've worked on it, you're done....you can't repeat as a different character).

But this particular show has its scripts shrouded in secrecy, and although the part was only three lines, there were possibilities here: often this show has people read for one scene then they do three during the shoot; sometimes co-stars on this show become recurring co-stars. And things have been quiet for me thus far in '07.

So we all agreed I should go in on the hopes the role might actually be something juicier than imagined, and the casting directors, who knew my work and had complimented my reel, might want someone with some decent chops to pull it off.

Wrong.

I got to the audition and there were five or six other guys there who ran the gamut from 25-year old bald black guy in fatigues, to 30-year old guy in motorcycle outfit, to me (today reading as about 35 and kind of rural), to forty-ish guy who looked like a professor—all reading for the same role!

This was a case of them not really knowing what they want. This was a case of a role that probably got written into the script yesterday. And this was, most definitely, a case of a character who is going to show up, advance the plot, and get the hell out of the way.

Roles like this are a crapshoot (hence the post title above). When you audition for them, you're told repeatedly, "throw it all away"; "do it with less feeling"; "faster than that"; "say every line like you don't really care what you're saying". It's an exercise in making yourself as unnoticeable as possible, while advancing the crucial plot line. For the most part, unless someone's having a bad day, everyone who comes in will do a decent job. And these auditions are a bummer because you know that everyone will give the same, slick, understated read, and it really will come down to whether my slightly tousled hair and plaid shirt trump the other guy's two-day growth and eurosport fleece.

And, not to whine about it, but I had kind of moved past that. It's good to get out and be seen, and to flex the audition muscles again, but there's nothing that makes you feel less like an actor than going in to play Officer Plotadvance. A role that I won't even put on my résumé, because it will make other LA casting directors think they can have me for cheap.

I still hope I book it though.