Angelinos Are P*ssies
I spend a lot of time in LA driving. And since traffic can get bottled up anywhere, the car radio is usually tuned to KFWB News 980 ("you give us 22 minutes, we'll give you the world"....just like 1010 WINS in New York).
Every, I dunno, three seconds or so, the KFWB deejays say "the Big Story™...." and then tell you what the day's Big Story™ is (see how that works?)
And what has the Big Story™ been since, like, last Tuesday?
Not the Bush Iraq speech.
Not the passing of legislation to raise the minimum wage.
Not even Apple's introduction of the iPhone.
Nope. The Big Story™ is that it's going to be FREEZING outside any minute!
You know, freezing. Generally accepted as 32°F or 0°C. The temperature at which water converts to ice. Bundle up so you don't get frostbite. Seeing your breath in the air and having your nose get runny when you step outside. FREEZING!
"Arctic temperatures are arriving tomorrow!" cautions the reporter in the field (not that LA actually has a field). "I feel like an icicle!" squeals a young girl interviewed in the street (or more likely on a sidewalk, since jaywalking tickets are actually quite common here).
Wow, I thought, I screwed up not bringing a down jacket back from New York. And I waited for the onslaught and considered buying an extra fleece or an electric blanket.
By Friday at noon, everyone I met was complaining about the frigid conditions. Bitching about the devastating temperatures. The governor was opening additional warming centers and actually declaring a state of emergency.
But for me, a funny thing happened. I noticed that it seemed kinda like autumn in New York. You know, nice football weather. I couldn't remotely see my breath. It really seemed nice and refreshing, particularly in the sun.
So finally I went online and checked the actual temperature. And it was 55 degrees.
And don't get me wrong, I'm sure it's getting colder at night (last night it got down to 38!), and I hear there's a threat to the local citrus crop.
But still. 55 degrees.
So I put on my shorts and sandals and went for a gorgeous hike on Mount Hollywood, just behind the Griffith Park Observatory. And in the space of an hour and a half, I saw five people. No lie.
Every, I dunno, three seconds or so, the KFWB deejays say "the Big Story™...." and then tell you what the day's Big Story™ is (see how that works?)
And what has the Big Story™ been since, like, last Tuesday?
Not the Bush Iraq speech.
Not the passing of legislation to raise the minimum wage.
Not even Apple's introduction of the iPhone.
Nope. The Big Story™ is that it's going to be FREEZING outside any minute!
You know, freezing. Generally accepted as 32°F or 0°C. The temperature at which water converts to ice. Bundle up so you don't get frostbite. Seeing your breath in the air and having your nose get runny when you step outside. FREEZING!
"Arctic temperatures are arriving tomorrow!" cautions the reporter in the field (not that LA actually has a field). "I feel like an icicle!" squeals a young girl interviewed in the street (or more likely on a sidewalk, since jaywalking tickets are actually quite common here).
Wow, I thought, I screwed up not bringing a down jacket back from New York. And I waited for the onslaught and considered buying an extra fleece or an electric blanket.
By Friday at noon, everyone I met was complaining about the frigid conditions. Bitching about the devastating temperatures. The governor was opening additional warming centers and actually declaring a state of emergency.
But for me, a funny thing happened. I noticed that it seemed kinda like autumn in New York. You know, nice football weather. I couldn't remotely see my breath. It really seemed nice and refreshing, particularly in the sun.
So finally I went online and checked the actual temperature. And it was 55 degrees.
And don't get me wrong, I'm sure it's getting colder at night (last night it got down to 38!), and I hear there's a threat to the local citrus crop.
But still. 55 degrees.
So I put on my shorts and sandals and went for a gorgeous hike on Mount Hollywood, just behind the Griffith Park Observatory. And in the space of an hour and a half, I saw five people. No lie.
posted by Zachary Knower at
10:21 PM
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